30 days of truth {day 15 & 16}

you may have noticed that there is no {day 13 &14}, you did not miss them, I just chose not to do them. They didn't seem important enough to spend my valuable time trying to come up with something I don't use to get me through something; or make up a fake hero who let me down, because I don't chose to have hero's made up of pop culture idols.

something you couldn't live without, because you tried living without it...

This was actually pretty simple for me to come up with, I can't live without sugar. I know, it sounds kind of addictive and dumb, and really it is an addictive issue with me, I think. I have done all sorts of crazy diets, no sugar for X amount of days, weeks, months. I learned how to do them, and be fine while adhearing to the strictness of this diet. However, as soon as I allow the sugar back, I binge so bad on sugar for atleast as long as I was off it. It is the most rediculous situation ever!

Recently I have been learning about myself and my eating tendancies and I see that when I am stressed, emotional, happy, celebrating, miserable, excited, bored {there's a few more I could put in here, but I think you get the idea} I reach for nothing less than candy {or cake or ice cream or chocolate}. I have to be very aware and concious of what I'm doing, or I eat it and don't even taste it {how sad is that, I claim I love the taste of these things but I really don't allow myself to enjoy them}. My mouth {or my emotions} want to eat it, but if I listen to my body the idea gets me nautious.

As I have been dealing with my recent stresses I have seen myself unconciously grab sugar of some sort. I want to eat whatever it is, but I give myself a minute before I do, and during that minute I continue talking to someone about my stress, or write in my journal, or somehow deal with what I'm *stressing* over; and then the most amazing thing happens, I no longer have the desire to eat that sugar. It is something I have never experienced before, and it's really wierd and neat.

So, maybe yesterday I could not live without sugar, today I am finding that I don't always desire it to assist in de-sensitizing myself, and maybe there will come a day when I can live without sugar, atleast as a means to deal with stress.

someone or something you could definitely live with out...

This one is easy too, I could definitely live with out STRESS!

Stress can come in many forms: emotional stress, physical stress, spiritual stress, and mental stress. Some of these kinds of stress can actually help you further yourself, such as the physical stress of exercise helps your body get stronger, the spiritual stress of a trial helps you gain abilities you would have otherwise not attained, the mental stress of learning a new skill helps keep your mind young and strong.

So if I'm going to look at the *glass half full* point of view, then stress is good for you. BUT stress can cause all sorts of physical *problems*, even when the stress is emotional.

Example: I have been highly stressed about some family issues, very emotionally stressing, and now I have developed an autoimmune disease of the thyroid.

This stress created more problems, and that is the kind of stress I would LOVE to NEVER live with again! Is that a possibility, probably not. Even if I do everything I can to create a *stress free* environment, I don't have control of all factors involved in my life. But my goal is to use what I do have control of and do everything in my power to limit the amount of stress I continue to bear.