conferences, authors, adults, enjoyment

I just have to share the really fabulous day I was lucky enough to enjoy.



I went to a librarian conference as a vendor. I know. sounds boring. right. not so.



I was lucky enough to get to spend the day with AnnMaree Montgomery, my upline supervisor with Usborne Books and good friend, and with Kimberly Greene, a fantastic author and exciting, charismatic, down-to-earth woman. {Kimberly wrote *My Sister's a Popstar*, *The Fame Game and Me*, and *My Life on TV*.}




So as I write this I realize that maybe to the untrained eye, this would seem like a boring, no big deal, sort of day. But to me, it was fantastic. How often to I get to have adult conversations ALL DAY LONG? AND with a *famous* author {if she's not famous now, she will be soon because she is amazing at what she does}. AND have these said adult conversations about real life issues, like what children are learning by watching tv and how those stories so drastically effect how they view and treat the world, themselves, and others. And talk about fun things, and interesting things, and boring things, and our children, and our views, and religion (well a bit), and life.



I got to be an adult, with adults, not worrying about my kids, not worrying about dinner, or the house, or my normal day to day stresses. I got to laugh, smile, think, interact, talk, listen, enjoy, and be an adult.



hmmm. Is there a theme going on? If you haven't figured it out yet, I can simplify.



I. like. being. an. adult. not. just. a. mommy.



Don't get me wrong.

I L.O.V.E. love being a mom to my beautiful, special, fantastic boys. Those boys have been the greatest gift in my life. I adore them. Period.



I just have a difficult time enjoying life as a *mommy* when I can't get a break from being *mommy*.

Day in, day out, no reprieve, no rest, no break.

This becomes very taxing on me; physically, mentally, emotionally.

There are days I feel lucky I made it through (and let's be honest, I feel lucky my boys made it through too).



AND days like today really help build me back up. I got to be an adult, with thoughts, ideas, insights. I got to be a person. I even felt like a professional person. Oh, that's good.



The icing on the cake is that my boys were very happy when I got home. They enjoyed a fun day with grandpa (minus the sick 3-year-old that decided the last 1 1/2 hours he'd vomit and diareah all over the place). They were sweet, loving, and just adored me when I got home {even my poor sicky}. And you know what, that felt good too. When we're together ALL THE TIME my boys just get sick of me; I'm not fun, or special. I'm just mom. Since we spent a whole day apart, we all could see our love and adoration for eachother. It was good. What's that saying? Seperation makes the heart grow fonder {something like that anyway}.



Another perk of this day is that I was able to enjoy bedtime. I know. How is that possible. I swear, bedtime is my nemesis. I dread bedtime. I adore AFTER bedtime, but the getting to bed and to sleep is the WORST. TIME. OF. DAY. AWFUL. However, today it was enjoyable. They didn't act too different from normal. {Bob-a-loo didn't feel to great so he got in bed very easily.} But today I wanted to hear what they had to say, the pillow talk, chatting, their silliness. It was a perfect way to unwind and discuss the day. And since we weren't together ALL day, we had something to talk about. I still had to ask them to calm down. The difference was that I was already calm, I wasn't upset with them being excited. I enjoyed their enthusiasm and was able to let them talk themselves down from the day and to a place of peace and rest.



It's amazing to me how crucial my state of mind is on how I deal with my children. The saying *If mom aint happy, aint nobody happy* comes to mind. A plan is in the works. My boys diserve a mom who appreciates them DAILY! I will make this happen. I'm not going to lie, it may not be a quick fix, but it is coming. I aint gonna be that *aint happy* mom no more!

All the fun we've had!

We have been doing some great fun things lately. I've been feeling too busy to do anything with the pictures. So here they are, finally!

Yeah for the Tree House Museum in Ogden. We went with my sis-in-law and sis not too long ago. The kids had a terrific time, and it was nice to get out of the house too. We used to go to the Tree House ALL THE TIME when we had a pass. It was what we did when we did something. But, since that time has passed it is now all new again.

And really it seemed new because they moved so much stuff around. I felt like we were re-discovering it for the first time.

And since we are *older*, everything is enjoyed differently.

But some things are still just as fun as they used to be.

I love that we can play with cousins, get along, and have a great time.

I also love seeing *big people* getting down and dirty and playing with the *little people*. I go back and forth on what I do.

I enjoy spending time with my kids.

Playing if that's what we're doing.

But I also really enjoy sitting and watching my kids play.

Or just sitting and talking with other big people about things other than what you talk with little people about.

I just can't believe how grown up my little Monkey is. Seriously, when did that happen?

This was as close to a good shot as I could get of these moving little people.

They had so much fun dressing up. It's funny how the little-er one's want to join in with the bigg-er ones. I don't think Bob-a-loo would be interested in *dress up* if Monkey weren't doing it.

On to the *new* exhibits! How fun is this one? It actually squirts something into the bucket {water I'd assume}. Bob-a-loo was squirting for sometime. I just kept going back {and back and back} to check on him and he was still squirting.

Untill we decided to ride the horse. So fun.

I just love my cowboy! How cute is he! I love that he looks like I'm making him pose, and he's not too happy with it, because that was not the case. He was so excited for me to take his picture, I did it several times, and he looked at every one to make sure I did a good enough job.


Hello snow of March 8, 2011.

It really wasn't THAT much snow, but look at my poor bush so laid down.

I just love the look of newly fallen snow, blanketing the ground, hiding all blemishes, making it beautiful. GOOD MORNING!

And this is what we did with the spring snow.

The first {and probably only} snowman of the season.
{Bob-a-loo is not in the photo because he was angry with me for not letting him take the picture.}

Frosty truned out quite nice, if I do say so myself. Now he is but a small ball of snow {if that} 2 days later.

The joys of spring in Utah.

Snow one day and 60-degree temps the next.

I actually enjoy this time of year, it's always an adventure, you never know what the next day is gong to be like. It's rediculous to plan anything, but you may be surprised with something spectacular.

But here is our latest *enjoyment*.

Yes, you do see correctly,

Bob-a-loo has a black eye.
Who knew that a splashy, fun bath could turn into this?

Oh the joys of 2 rambunctious boys.

Energy abounding.

Testosterone pumping {I don't know if that's actually true at this point/age, but I can't believe it's not with how wild and crazy they can get.. I don't know}.

Wild.

Boys.

It's good that wounds heal, and pain fades.

It's good that anger is followed by forgiveness.

It's good that hurt is followed by I'm sorry.

It's good that tears are followed by I love you.

It's good that wild is followed by calm {sometimes}.

Its good that my boys will always be my boys!

days of truth {29}

yep, I skipped a whole bunch. They just weren't that interesting and I couldn't think of anything good. So, now we've got 2 {days} left. Enjoy!



something you hope to change about yourself, and why...



There are quite a few things I can think of that I need to work on and change. Right now I have decided I want to feel more connected to myself. I have been dealing with a HUGE tiral in my life, for the past couple years, and unfortunately I have just stopped listening to myself, my body, my intuition, me. I have neglected myself so I could deal with what was infront of me, just try to make it through. I still have PLENTY of work to *make it through*, but I'm going to take a different approach. I'm going to take care of me, listen to me. So then I can have something to give to others when I'm needed.

My approach: morning movement and meditation.
Goal: to connect with myself first thing in the morning so I can continue the day with that connection.

Approach: listen to my body cues for hunger, satisfaction, fullness.
Goal: to STOP binging on sugar, lose some weight, nourish myself.

Approach: 5 stages of self healing.
Goal: again to connect with myself, and to begin to heal my physical body from my emotional pain {and hopefully also heal the emotional body}.

Approach: journal my emotional issues
Goal: to heal those emotional issues, to discover my *core beliefs* that may or may not be based on truth (or even be good/right/correct).

I have been thinking about this for a while now, and I have realized that there is a difference between intention and action. I have *intended* to do these things for the last couple years, but I didn't do the *action* - I didn't do it. So as Nike says *Just Do It!* That's what I'm doing!

days of truth {22 & 23}

something you wish you hadn't done in your life...

What's funny about this one is I can't think of ANYTHING. really.
I'm always saying I don't want to live in regret, so I don't.
There are things I have done that probably weren't the smartest or best options, but I don't regret anything. I've come to learn that I am the person I am today because of my trials, self induced or otherwise. I really have done some stupid things, but I've learned so much about myself or what consequences I can endure that I'm ok with my stupidity... as long as I can learn from it, and NOT repeat it.
I was watching 13 going on 30 not too long ago {my monkey really likes that movie... go figure}. There's a part where the 30 year old daughter is talking with her mom about regrets. The mom is asked if she regrets anything in her life, and she says no. Because she wouldn't be who she is today without making all the decisions she has made, good or bad, right or wrong, and she's happy with how her life has turned out.
I'm going through some really difficult things right now, I could easily "regret" my choices that have brought me to this point. What's interesting is I don't regret anything. {part of it is I didn't make the *big* decisions to create the situation, I've just had to deal with the consequences} I actually can't say that I'm *happy* with my life right now, but I feel good about the direction I'm going. I have some rough roads ahead of me, and I pray everyday I can find my way through, and I have faith that I will make it and even be better than I was before.

something you wish you had done in your life...

Alright, I think I've said this quite a bit, but I'm not so into regrets. I try to do what I can not to have those feelings.

With that said, I've realized that's because I have felt regret.

I love basketball. I remember in 6th grade being on the Jr. Jazz team and I LOVED it! I wasn't too incredibly good at it, but I would practise for hours, find friends to play a game with, go practise dribbling on the side walk. Did I say I loved it? I did!

When I got into high school I distinctly remember the day they announced girl basketball tryouts would be coming up, I was SO excited!

at that point, I was in wierd living arrangements, and didn't feel I had support in getting home from school if I stayed after. And unfortunately I was really shy, at that point, and didn't dare ask for the help I needed.

I didn't make it to the first day of tryouts because I wasn't sure I could get a ride home afterwards. Once I missed the first day I just made an assumption that I couldn't go to the rest of the tryouts. {I didn't know for sure, just assumed.} So it turns out I didn't even tryout for the basketball team.

I still had a couple more years of high school, I would tryout the next year. But I never did. Later, I didn't have any friends that played basketball. My friends were on the drill team, which I did try out for but didn't get on, and in other things I already was doing. So I didn't feel comfortable with the girls on the team already. Did I say I was shy? I was S.H.Y.!

I remember going to a girls basketball game and turning to one of my friends and saying, "I'm going to tryout for basketball next year. Even though I'm going to be a senior, I really want to go for it."

But I didn't.

I was afraid.

And I really, really regret that.

I still love basketball, I'm still not very good at it, and I still don't dare to go find any local teams to play with, because I'm not very good. hmmm, that's something I can try to do sometime in the near future.

Get out of my comfort zone!

days of truth {day 20 & 21}

what do you think of drugs and alcohol...

drugs and alcohol are bad, mmk'ay.

As stated in the last post, I'm LDS, so drugs and alcohol are on the *no no* list.

But I have deeper reasons for not using these mind altering substances. I come from a family of alcoholics and drug addicts. {doesn't that sound nice} It's the truth, though. I understand the genetic tendencies for addictions and I know that if I so chose to partake in these substances, I am playing Russian roulette with my life and attaining an addiction.

That's not something I'm going to mess around with, no thanks.

{scenario} your best friend is in a car accident, you were in a huge fight an hour before, what do you do...

Alright, I'm not so into this one... I guess I'll do it anyway.

I don't want to live in regret. Does that mean I do everything I can so I won't? I wish it did. I try my best to say what I mean, but try not to be mean.
I rarely get into fights with people, let alone my best friends. That's maybe why this {scenario} feels so far fetched for me, it's just not something I'm likely to experience these days.

I did it. Did you get a lot out of those 6 sentences? I sure hope so.

days of truth {day 19}

what do you think of religion...


My religion of choice is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.





For me, having a set of guidelines to follow is comforting. I chose to follow these guidelines and I am a good person, friend, neighbor, sister, mother, daughter. What I'm getting at, is these guidelines help me be a better person, keep me from doing *dumb* stuff that could hurt myself or others {I'm not saying I don't do *dumb* stuff, just that I could be doing *dumb*-er stuff}.



My religion has also been a great comfort to me while I have been going through a huge trial in my life. I have felt peace, comfort, love, calm, peace {I know I already said this one, but it needs to be repeated atleast 5 more times, that might get close to showing how much peace I have felt lately}, confidence, and joy.



I chose to use my religion to help guide me through this life. I love that I can be guided, and that I believe there is more to come after this life is finished. I will add that I do not follow blindly, I have a choice, I make my choice. There are some issues {see previous days of truth post} I do not completely agree with, and I'm ok with that choice. But I am grateful to have my religion, my guidelines, and my Savior by my side as I struggle.

What did I make?

It's actually fun when I come up with an idea and follow through with it. That's what I did today. I saw some items I have around the house that I have been thinking about using and I actually used them.





I know, who knew I had it in me to follow through with an idea. Will wonders ever cease?





Here are the items I used. (well I didn't think to take a picture till after I had my crafts made.) So really these are the remainder of what I used to make my fun stuff!





Yes, it's scrapbooking supplies and some other crafting supplies. Another hint is I also used clipboards. hmmm, have any ideas?








Aren't these SO FUN! I think they're just adorable, decorated clipboards! Not to toot my own horn, but I guess I am.





With scrapbooking paper, scissors, mod podge (glue), and ribbons, look what I have created.





It gets even better.


I know right, amazing!

They're wall hangings!

This way I can have a place to put pictures, notes, reminders, and whatever else I can think of in a visible, beautiful spot. My hope is I can easily see things I need to take care of when I place them on one of these decorated clipboards. I'm even thinking of dedicating each clipboard to something specific; such as school stuff for Monkey, reminders for me, business stuff to take care of, etc. I'm not quite sure what I'm really going to use them for specifically, but it will come to me soon enough!

Truthfully, I'm most excited that I started and completed a project within ONE day!